Lizards in the Leaves

Rustlings in the green....imagination, art, whimsy

Jan 6, 2008

new year thoughts

Lucitropic, digital photograph by Zann Carter, 2007

"But only the dance is sure!
make it your own.
Who can tell

what is to come of it?"

from The Dance by William Carlos Williams

Some stuff in no particular order of importance....

Just one resolution. One word: MOVE
That's to move my body, as early and often as possible. Last fall I took an 8 week Tai Chi class and began to do the movements every day and I love it, have signed on for another 8 weeks. I saw a definite improvement in the knee pain I have, and a sort of centered grace as I moved through the days. I have finally let go the idea that I will ever have a regular yoga practice, an idea I have had since the late 60s and I admired my friend Cathie starting her day with Sun Salutations. Oh, there are few poses that I will probably still do, but I am done with thinking that I will grow up to be a 70 year old yogini. The crunching that began in my knee in the last class I took over the summer has convinced me of that.

Tai Chi, on the other hand, the simple forms for arthritis developed by Dr. Paul Lam, has completely won me over and I look forward to advancing with it.

On Christmas Eve, my mother had to be transferred to a special geriatric hospital unit in a city two hours away, in hopes of trying to get her stabilized -- her dementia has worsened into a state of constant agitation and hours of screaming. It is a grim situation and it is looking like there will be no middle ground, medication that quells her outbursts and pain leaves her lethargic and bedridden. If that is backed off to try to allow her more wakefulness, the screaming begins anew. It's grim and sad and an inevitability I have known was coming...

For two years, we have provided personal assistants, caregivers, to try to give her some quality one-on-one attention several days a week. I took them to lunch on Friday and gave them these pins I made. The picture is dreadful (none of my pictures of my new work in wire and beading are very good), but I did lots of spirals and a big coil-wrapped spiral around a pinback. There is a little vintage glass heart bead dangle on each one. A thank you and acknowledgement of their deeply compassionate care for mom.

She will be returning to the nursing home sometime next week. I have no idea what to expect and little sense of what I can really do anymore. I am trying to hold myself in the present, in a place of love...

Here's a necklace I made for Tifani...not very Christmassy, but very Tifani....little carved bone skulls and pointy coral bits, strung on 18 gauge silverplated copper wire and attached to braided black rayon ribbon yarn. A loop and skull bead closure.

---------------------- little surgical venture went very well and all the pathology reports were excellent. I have taken care of all the wellness checkups, tests I need to have for awhile and I am determined to set myself upon a course of remedial self-care...the Tai Chi, a simple array of important supplements, stress management techniques and a renewed dedication to bringing art and creative thinking into every nook and cranny of my day.

....and so the knitting goes, still socks, socks, socks.

Commitments 2008:
a Maple Center day for women with breast cancer - Celebration of Life. As part of my work in Patrick's memory to promote the joy and healing power of expressive art, I'll be doing a workshop on poem-making and journaling. This is a challenge for me and I hope I'll be able to create an hour and a half of fun and be able to share the enthusiasm I have for playing with words and images and mindfulness....

I have also created a special wire and ribbon pin for the day and have committed myself to making 150 of them! I have made 80 so far and I still have 2 months, so I think I'm going to be able to meet this commitment. Also, along with Beni from Beading Paradise, we are going to be able to have every participant make a bracelet. More on that later as well.

I'm also being challenged to create a freeform crochet workshop for April at RiverWools.

And finally, we will hold another workshop on healing grief and loss through expressive arts. This year we will have it in early November, which I think will be a particularly good time since the winter holidays are so perilous for those who are grieving a loss.

Enough commitments? I think so. Just enough. And I see wonderful pleasures and benefits for me in taking on these challenges...

I wish all a Mindful and Abundant New Year!!!


At 1/7/08, 3:13 AM, Blogger Barbara H. said...

Zann, I think you are truly an amazing woman. Here's to a better New Year, and I am so sorry to hear about your mother's health status. Your work is lovely, as always!


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