Eighteen Months Since....

Graffiti Memorial to Patrick, on the 1-year anniversary (very out-of-the-way railroad overpass pillar)

Today marks eighteen months since we lost our Patrick. I try not to write a lot here about my grief, but I must occasionally. There are still tears every single day. Some days the tears are brief and pass quickly. Other days I still give way to wrenching sobs. I try to just be present with my feelings and allow them to flow through.

Not an hour goes by without a thought of him....but I realized awhile back that I probably have a thought of every one of my children every hour. It's just that a thought of Patrick is accompanied by so much poignancy.

Just a little bit ago, I found myself, every cell of my being it seemed, gripped with a longing to hug him.










So....we go on, cherishing sweet memories, trying to make peace with the awful ones--though even those I do not want to let go. I have to remember everything.

Paul and I light the virtual candles for Patrick every single day and hold him always in the heart of our hearts, surrounded by love and light.

I want to thank all of you for your empathy, the kind thoughts that you send my way.
It means a great deal and it comforts.
Namaste,
Zann