I'm trying to understand the new world in which I live.
For one thing, the time zone is Zen. It is always Now.
Bits and pieces of my old world remain and I'm having to decide what to pick up, carry into the new and nurture...and decide what nurtures me. Knitting nurtures me. Spinning as well.
And pictures like this. Sunset at the North Pole with the moon at its closest point. [03.31 NOTE: Just discovered this picture is a digital creation, not real (whatever 'real' is....) see info at Snopes.]
I've almost finished a little wrap in Silk Garden which I plan to give to Patrick's best friend and roommate, Tifani. Patrick's roommates were his family, too, and they are deeply wounded by his death as well.
At first, I wasn't even sure if I felt like knitting.
Saturday, I went downtown and had my daughter-in-law wash and dry my hair. Then I went down the street to RiverWools. RiverWools has been my sanctuary for so long - ever since Patrick's accident in November '04, and all the subsequent difficulties we faced legally, medically, financially, and his struggle with substance abuse. Then I added dealing with my mother's catastrophic decline into dementia last summer. I would leave one or the other situation and find the thought of going home so stressed unbearable. So I'd take my knitting and woe into the shop, where I always found some solace.
Saturday was no exception. Martha's hugs, her listening ears, the comfort of beauty in the new fibers (Colinette Stash Packs!)... I wanted a new project and found a little wrap pattern written by another Indiana knitter - it's bigger than a scarf, smaller than a shawl, and simple, but with enough of a pattern to make me have to concentrate a bit. I did have to rip it about 4 times before I got going properly, but it is the perfect project for right now.
The Silk Garden is 226, a lot of grays/browns with some blue and purple. I keep thinking of it as reflecting the kind of day Patrick liked best - overcast, drizzly. And I keep thinking of it as a hug for Tifani. I hope it will comfort her as the knitting of it is comforting me. I'll have pictures when it's finished.
love to all