Dear Friends....

I just wanted to write a note to say I'm okay.
It's been a week since my son Patrick's death, a week filled with emotions so huge and raw, I'm left exhausted. I'm glad we did everything we could ourselves. From his obituary to his eulogy to the whole preparation for our Remembrance Gathering on Wednesday night, it was family and friends working together to honor our lost one. 300 people came and stunned us with their presence and love. My small Unitarian Universalist congregation seemed ten times the size as they created a network of food-bearing visits, and took care of many things at our gathering. The picture above is the mural at the front of the church, painted by John Laska, a founding member of the congregation. Those reaching hands are also the hands of many of the members who reached out to us....

Yesterday we brought our son's ashes home and packed up his earthly possessions. These, and everything we've done this week, were sacred acts we needed to do as Patrick's parents, siblings, friends. An unremitting sadness is woven through the very air, but bringing our son home, out of the hands of strangers, made me feel whole, as though a circle was closed. The word "closure" gets a bad rap, I think. Most people think of it as a door closing, something taken care of, finished, done, closed off, stopped, ended. But to me, it's the closure of a circle - no beginning, no end, something whole and completed, an eternal turning round and round.

Paul and I have a long journey ahead of us, I know. If we're lucky, there will be more circles completed and we will find a way to bear the unbearable and accept the unacceptable.
I want to thank all you dear people who have sent thoughts, prayers, tears. Every one of those things has been precious and healing for us.
Love,
'zann