Lizards in the Leaves

Rustlings in the green....imagination, art, whimsy

Feb 14, 2009

My Broken Heart (Mended)

My Broken Heart (Mended), 2009
Wool roving, wool yarn, hand-dyed, crocheted, needlefelted, 5"

My Broken Heart (Mended), verso

This is one of the pieces I worked on this week. As I worked, it seemed to me that one side was for Patrick and one side for my mother. It was very healing to create this, to be holding the idea that I was making a visual representation of my hurt heart, and my healing journey.

A year ago today, Valentine's Day, my mother died.
I awoke this morning in the dark and felt wide-awake, thinking of Mom. I looked at the clock. It said 6:45. That was about the time she died. At 6:55, I was called by the nurse who said she had just died, and that she had been with my mother, had heard her last heartbeat.

The note below has been by my phone for at least two years now. I put it there to remind me how I wanted to act and be when my mother called. Dementia often made phone conversations and visits turn into horrible interactions that left me feeling small, frustrated and ashamed. This note helped me to prevent that many times. I haven't been able to bear to remove it, but I think that today might be an appropriate day to let it go...

Love. Love. Love.


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At 2/14/09, 12:13 PM, Anonymous Steph said...

Beautiful, Zann, just beautiful. What talents you have (the ones that stand out for me right this moment): fiber artist, writer, self healer . I am in awe!

At 2/14/09, 7:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow - I am so moved both by your inner heart and the one you have made. Your note to yourself was so beautiful. Alzheimers is in my family too. I wish you peace.

At 2/15/09, 1:30 AM, Blogger 'Zann said...

Aw, thank you both!

At 2/24/09, 7:44 PM, Anonymous Don said...


At 2/24/09, 11:56 PM, Blogger Alexis said...

Your hearts are lovely. And your note to yourself so real. Thanks for sharing.

At 2/28/09, 12:05 PM, Blogger molly burkett said...

this made me cry! you are so strong and brave.


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